Tiddy Bear

Hey guys! John Mayer here.

Well it's Labor Day weekend and well it's time to take care of John's needs. I'll posting sporadically in between bongs and groupies. Just thought I'd leave you with this for now.

It's called the Tiddy Bear; I'm having my legal team give these guys a call. It was originally intended to be a plush John Mayer and sold ONLY to supermodels and big titty celebs. This is soooo blowing my high.

Peace Out!
John

The Man's Bag

Hey guys! John Mayer here.

One of the most awesome things about being a rock god is that all things are catered to your whims.

The good folks over at InCase asked me, "hey John, what would your laptop bag look like?" To which my reply was, "Dude; I don't want a fuck ugly bag. I own a MacBook Air; I don't need a fucking bag."

After an hour of having their marketing folks cry and beg for 2 hours straight, I finally said, "you can use my initials. My worshipers deserve it."

So, since the mood strikes you, check out my store, buy the bag and bring me my money.

Peace out,

John

Marriage Mirage

Hey guys; John Mayer here. So everyone's been harrassing my publicist lately about this whole marriage thing. First, let me just say that it wasn't me. No not the groupie, that was me, but the marriage. So you really think a mere mortal could tame the sex drive of a Rock God!?!

Yeah, I didn't think so.

But this isn't to say anything bad about Jenny A. I think shes great but she's not the best at worshiping at my feet. I mean really, every time one of these smut rags posted pictures of Angie's bitch, she'd get all soft and teary eyed. I mean really... focus on me. Thanks.

So all those pictures you've seen in the trash mags; never happened. That guy you've seen with Jenny A? One of her actor friends. I'm just disappointed that you would even mistake him for me. Really?!? He looks like a total douche bag. What a tool.

Peace out,

John