"I've got a penis. Just wanted to remind you of that."

Update

Hey guys!

FJM here.

Just wanted to let you guys know that I will be guest blogging on The Poor Mac's Blog to give folks the perspective of the rich and famous. I mean Apple has always been about accessibility of cutting edge technology to the masses; from the introduction of the highly successful LISA to the impregnable iPod market.

Much love and Namaste.

The Award for Most Ghetto Couple of the Year (The Bobby-Whitney) goes to...

Hey Guys John Mayer here!

Well what a crazy Grammy night right?

We saw it all, legends delegated to clean up duty, a blimp with rappers, an awkward rock-country duo, and R&B's "power couple" have a possible career ending meltdown.

Sadly, I think we all forget that beyond the glitz, glamour, and great pr these people we see on the TV are just that... People. Like all people they have their ups, downs, and issues that they need to resolve. Unfortunately for Brown, he chose to resolve his dispute with his hands.

As a man I'd have to simply say that it was simply a bitch move. That's right, there's no justification for. Period. Sure we can try to string Brown up from the highest tree we can find, but the truth is Wrigley's has already done it by cutting him off.

Sorry Chris... you wanted to man up to your woman, but Wrigley's has reminded you who's the bitch in THAT relationship.

Peace Out!

FJM

Kim Jong Il to bring Moon to N Korea

Hey guys, FJM here.

I've missed you guys and has been quite busy in the Mayer City... but I haven't forgotten. Here's a little news that just might be crazy enough to work:



Peace Out!
FJM

NYC Taxi Limo Commission now accepting iPods

Hey guys.. John Mayer here.

I'm finally back. I've had to take a little vacation as I've been totally haggard by another holiday season.

The holiday's are a time where folks either travel to meet with family or get out and see the world. Personally speaking I fancy heading out to Cabo with a few lady friends and being pampered in Cabo's perfect weather. But I digress.

Unfortunately not everyone gets to enjoy their time away and sometimes you just wanna get away from your getaway; like some poor 20-year girl that was relieved of her iPod by a NYC cabbie.

Yup, as bad as that sounds it just gets worse.

According to Elliott.org, the 20-year old was on her way to the airport on a yellow taxi and attempted to pay with her credit card. Although she had used plastic to pay for her comings and goings while in the Big Apple, there appeared to be a malfunction with the cab's credit card reader prompting the driver and Port Authority policy to threaten to "book" the 20-year old for fare evasion.

Long story short the girl gives up the iPod and cries all the way home, the Port Authority says no names no issues, and the TLC said since it was okayed by the PA policy, then the issue is between customer and driver (i.e. tough shit we're stayin' out).

Well being a resident of the city so nice they named it twice, Ms. Lenhart if you're out there... I'll send you a fake free copy of "Where the Light Is" on Blu-Ray if you keep me posted.

Peace Out,

FJM

Happy New Year

Hey guys! FJM here.

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy and safe new year.

Peace out and FREE PALESTINE!

FJM

So uncool

Happy Holidays guys!

John Mayer here after a nice long time away from blogging. I missed it as much as you all have missed me. So I really want you guys to check out Marley & Me... cuz JennyA's doing her thing.

I also want you to never again watch "The Early Show" on CBS because of FRIGTARD of the month: Harry Smith.

Check the link and write nasty letters to Harry Smith and "The Early Show"... Oh yeah, and tell 'em Fake John sent you.

Peace out!

[via The Huffington Post]