The Award for Most Ghetto Couple of the Year (The Bobby-Whitney) goes to...

Hey Guys John Mayer here!

Well what a crazy Grammy night right?

We saw it all, legends delegated to clean up duty, a blimp with rappers, an awkward rock-country duo, and R&B's "power couple" have a possible career ending meltdown.

Sadly, I think we all forget that beyond the glitz, glamour, and great pr these people we see on the TV are just that... People. Like all people they have their ups, downs, and issues that they need to resolve. Unfortunately for Brown, he chose to resolve his dispute with his hands.

As a man I'd have to simply say that it was simply a bitch move. That's right, there's no justification for. Period. Sure we can try to string Brown up from the highest tree we can find, but the truth is Wrigley's has already done it by cutting him off.

Sorry Chris... you wanted to man up to your woman, but Wrigley's has reminded you who's the bitch in THAT relationship.

Peace Out!

FJM

Update

Hey guys, FJM again.

Just wanted to give you all the heads up: Be sure to check out my duet with BB King at the Grammy's Nomination Concert. As you can image we're the only thing worth watching so just be sure to flip over to see if we're on. It'll be on CBS so check your local listings.

Peace Out... 

FJM

P.S. Yeah, we're sooo gonna f-in' rock!

Pistol Plax

Hey guys! John Mayer here.

As a fan of American Football, I ceremoniously make sure that the console of 50-inchers are tuned to the various games going on around the country every Sunday. The Mayer Pad is the place to be on Sundays and I won't apologize for it. 

I hold nothing but the highest respect for these modern day gladiators that risk health and well-being for the entertainment of us all. That being said, every now and again one of these guys make such an asshole move that we just have to ask the question: why?

In the time honored tradition of sports heros doing spectacularly stupid things, Plaxico Burress of the New York Giants shot himself in the leg in the early hours of Saturday morning while at LQ (formerly Latin Quarters).

It's amazing to see someone so eager to throw everything away. It's even more so amazing when we really didn't even see this one coming. Team mate, Antonio Pierce, didn't even know that Plax owned a gun!?! I'll be frank, I don't think Plax is a bad guy or even that this is something coming to him; but he's making it very difficult for himself to 1. remain a professional football player, 2. keep his freedom. (New York State has one of the toughest gun laws - 3 1/2 year mandatory prison sentence for any one convicted of illegal possession of a handgun.)

As a fellow celeb with a cult-like following, it's hard being in the public eye all the time. I understand the pressures of having to always be "on." Plax let's get it together so we can all move pass this.

Peace Out!

FJM

This ain't out...

Except it was. Like a year ago.

Ye' you really just come off like a bigger douche than me on this one. I know you gotta give your fans that unattainable dream: jet setting across to foreign lands that would illicit a sense of bewilderment and exoticism.

So you went ahead and did an unboxing of a Bang and Olufsen cellphone on your blog. True indeed that it is like nothing folks have seen in this hemisphere but damn! You could've picked up a newer phone.

Not only are you a year late but you then chose one of the year's biggest piece of shit phone to top it off. It's bad enough that your average fan (based on posts) are still going crazy for last year's Blackberry Curve, now you have them screwing with B&O's plans of getting out the cellphone game altogether.

Look man, really just get with the times and unbox a phone that does more than make phone calls. Like my 2 year old Blackberry Bold.

Peace Out,

FJM

Marriage Mirage

Hey guys; John Mayer here. So everyone's been harrassing my publicist lately about this whole marriage thing. First, let me just say that it wasn't me. No not the groupie, that was me, but the marriage. So you really think a mere mortal could tame the sex drive of a Rock God!?!

Yeah, I didn't think so.

But this isn't to say anything bad about Jenny A. I think shes great but she's not the best at worshiping at my feet. I mean really, every time one of these smut rags posted pictures of Angie's bitch, she'd get all soft and teary eyed. I mean really... focus on me. Thanks.

So all those pictures you've seen in the trash mags; never happened. That guy you've seen with Jenny A? One of her actor friends. I'm just disappointed that you would even mistake him for me. Really?!? He looks like a total douche bag. What a tool.

Peace out,

John