So uncool

Happy Holidays guys!

John Mayer here after a nice long time away from blogging. I missed it as much as you all have missed me. So I really want you guys to check out Marley & Me... cuz JennyA's doing her thing.

I also want you to never again watch "The Early Show" on CBS because of FRIGTARD of the month: Harry Smith.

Check the link and write nasty letters to Harry Smith and "The Early Show"... Oh yeah, and tell 'em Fake John sent you.

Peace out!

[via The Huffington Post]

Marriage Mirage

Hey guys; John Mayer here. So everyone's been harrassing my publicist lately about this whole marriage thing. First, let me just say that it wasn't me. No not the groupie, that was me, but the marriage. So you really think a mere mortal could tame the sex drive of a Rock God!?!

Yeah, I didn't think so.

But this isn't to say anything bad about Jenny A. I think shes great but she's not the best at worshiping at my feet. I mean really, every time one of these smut rags posted pictures of Angie's bitch, she'd get all soft and teary eyed. I mean really... focus on me. Thanks.

So all those pictures you've seen in the trash mags; never happened. That guy you've seen with Jenny A? One of her actor friends. I'm just disappointed that you would even mistake him for me. Really?!? He looks like a total douche bag. What a tool.

Peace out,

John